One funny thing about Shawn John is that he is so crazy he would do anything...he dressed as a KKK member last halloween and had to keep lifting his mask to say..."its ok, I'm brown"

Kelly said Shawn wanted him to buy a disco ball and hang it from his rear view mirror...a regular sized one however...

That was something me and Jer were talking about just before we fell asleep...we were talking about how Kelly is opening up more and more all the time, and there is something so endearing about this group of guys who just love each other so much...and you can see it. That is the best part, is that you can observe this love between these beautiful NDN men....of course its not so bad to love them all for that as well.

Kelly said, I can count all the men I love on my hands, Norm, Curtis, Stan, Shawn and Hasaan.

I thought about the night I watched movies with Curtis and we were making popcorn and joking around in the kitchen...suddenly somthing exploded in the microwave...the glass plate exploded...

we just kind of stared at it for a moment and both started laughing, he said, I don't feel like cleaning this up right now...I laughed and said, haha, that'll be funny when the next person opens it and their like what da fuck?

The look on his face was so cute, he just kinda smirked and said "kelly"

It's not the same unless you were there to see that look on his face, but what I saw was gushy brotherly love, love, love love...I love Curtis the more I know how much he loves.

I've decided to express myself, so I'm going to buy an altoids can and fill it with thoughts...an altoids can was really the only small compact yet big enough to be noticed container that can become found art in a sense only cause it functioned as a mint carrier and what else are you going to do with the can afterwards anyways...either way, the thought just occured to me to use an altoid can with no real reason, just because I already have one and I probably would just throw it away anyways...oh wait, I'm gonna buy a new one...haha, almost told a lie...

I know I always have more time, but I also know I need to challenge myself and be fire even for a moment...

Hasaan wrote this beautiful poem called short but sweet, it pretty much sums up what love is...after I read it, I began to understand what is important here, the love, not all the expectations we put on love, just love as it is...it doesn't matter what I am, or what he is, or where we go or what we do...I love him for being who he is, and that is all I need to do when it comes down to it, even if I don't take a bunch of junk and glue it together and write some things on little pieces of paper and stick it in the altoids can and call it an expression of love...I will still love him and if it is what we need to do, we'll be together...

lately everything has been about love, for everyone around me, perhaps it always has been, it is what preoccupies so many ppls waking minds...but it is just recently that I saw how beautiful that is, how it reaches beyond the idea of "relationships" and becomes more eternal...how it manifests in so many different colors in others...how I love others for having those different colors...

I was called the onondaga madonna this week, I knew I didn't like it...

I read the poem this morning, one thing it did accomplish is that I must take that big pink colonial dress that I have on layaway at Burcu's and do a performance using that poem. Cause I am no onondaga madonna...

Duncan Campbell Scott my ass!!

just another story, guess the idiot did give me a gift of sorts, his ignorant comments and excessive use of the word onondaga when conversing with me really did trigger something...to create my disgust with him

he's just a drunk beach hippy anyways, but I do love the drunk beach hippies, they are of their own kind

Talked to sheldon, he's like a wounded puppy running with his tail between his legs, he thinks he needs to build his trust in me...

need to go to breakfast now with barb, jer and hasaan...good night, it was a good night

today is the first time I actually miss curtis...must mean I need to write it down...